02/07/04 - Talking Trash with Nate 'The Vagrant' Dooley: BOK BOK BOK...
BAGURK!
A Flair for the Gold.. the Barber Shop... Piper's Pit... The
Funeral Parlour... The Highlight Reel... and - Talking Trash.
Wrestling fans, I am outraged, flabbergasted, hoodwinked,
bamboozled and most all... freaking pissed off.
For the few of you who did not see what 'Slick' Rick Sanders did
at our last show 'Hell or Highwater', let me give you a special
Vagrant recap of the proceedings.
As usual before events, I was
busy fussing around in the back, making preparations complete
for yet another riveting edition of 'Talking Trash' - EPW's
number 1 rated chat show. I had the ring all set up just the way
I wanted - scattered with crap. And as I left the ringside area
to go over tonight's edition with my producer Soulman, I noticed
he looked a little, shall we say, queasy. I asked him if he had
knocked off the entire bucket of KFC again, to which he remarked
"Not this time...".I thought nothing more of it as I retreated
to the locker room to get a good seat for Kiel E's pre-show poet
reading - he's acts like a drip, but he's quite the author.
As showtime approached, I was
ready to rock and perhaps roll. I walked up the stairs to the
Gorilla position and could here voices murmuring over the PA. I
turned suddenly to the monitor backstage, my long flowing blonde
locks fluttered in the breeze - well, may hat spun around - and
to my disgust, I saw 'Slick' Rick Sanders standing in the middle
of the ring. I was furious! Slick Rick had taken over my show,
and renamed it 'Brat Chat' - his new set was sparkly, pretty and
clean, whereas mine was crusty, dirty and missing!
I turned to Soulman and demanded
he tell me what was going on. Soulman fluffed around with
script, attempting to locate where it advised that Sanders was
taking over. And do you know what? I didn't say that in the
script, because Slick Rick Sanders wasn't allowed to take over
Talking Trash... and now he was going to pay.
I bolted through the curtain
just in time to pull Davis Storm away from the now FORMER EPW
Champion in F.N Carnage. Storm and Carnage saved it for the
main, and tore off one of the greatest matches in our history.
However, during 'Crap Chat', Carnage headed to the back leaving
me in the ring with my new nemesis, Slick Rick Sanders.
And here's the difference
between Rick Sanders and Nate Dooley. If I had've been standing
there with my back to him, Slick Rick would've whipped the
powder out... grabbed a big ol' handful and slammed me right in
the face - being the nogoodnick that he is. However, as true a
gentleman as a homeless bum can be, I made sure Slick Rick knew
exactly how I felt - and I challenged him one-on-one in a
wrestling match. Did Sanders take up the challenge in true
fighting spirit. The answer sadly, is no.
Slick Rick Sanders had the
opportunity to wrestle The Vagrant... to engage in a battle
between good and evil, night and day, light and dark with the
right to host a 15minute pre-show talk segment at stake. And he
chickened out.
Colonel Sanders, I'm appealing
to you again. Take up the challenge and wrestle the People's
Tramp. I want my talkshow back and I'm not going to let a loud
mouthed, shiny panted chicken stand in my way.
